Ideas for raising children

Two important principles for interacting with your children are: (1) Know and follow the values you want your children to live with, and (2) understand them from their point of view. Parents should list the main values and principles for living that they want their children to master. What specific positive traits do you want your children to have. Make a list for each child.

A confident parent who creates a loving relation with his children, will find that his children will listen to him. When telling your children to do or not to do something, your voice needs to show confidence that you expect your children to listen to what you have to say. If you sound as if you don't really expect your children to listen to you, they will pick up your non-verbal message and are very likely not going to listen.

Be clear and specific when telling your children what they should or should not do. Telling a child to "be good" is too vague and not likely to be very effective. When you see things from your child's point of view, you will be careful to respect his feelings and thoughts. This will give your children a sense of self-respect and respect for others. Think about how you wanted to be treated when you were a child. Taking individual differences into account, act that way towards your children. Keep in mind that no child wants to be insulted or ridiculed by their parents.

Don't threaten your children. When you threaten a child, you create unnecessary anxiety and fear. If you make threats that you both know you won't keep, you are teaching them not to take you seriously. Threats automatically imply that you think there is a possibility that your children will not listen to you. Never give your children negative labels. negative labels create negative self-image, which is highly destructive.

Don't expect perfection when interacting with your children. Everyone makes mistakes. If you feel you have made mistakes in the past, begin again now. Be totally committed to creating a loving relationship with each of your children. Apologize to your children when it is appropriate. Apologizing is not a sign of weakness.

Don't fulfill your child's every request. Deny your children something at least once a day. Life is tough. You want to train your child to deal with difficulties and disappointments - not to expect that every whim and desire will be fulfilled. Unfulfilled expectations are the source of most misery. "Cornucopia kids" will never learn to grow up as happy adults.